Harry and Draco's Affair: The Poetic Version
by faithwood
Summary: I'll tell you a story, believe every word;, It's quite unique, nothing like you've ever heard;, In case you believed that, shame on you; This rhymes, yes, but truthfully, it's nothing new. POEM. Wait, don't run! Try it. HPDM. SLASH. Um, cracktastic.


**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement intended.  
**Title: **Harry and Draco's Affair (The Smutty Poetic Version)  
**Pairing: **Harry/Draco

**Author:** Faith Wood  
**Rating: **NC-17  
**Word Count: **1200  
**Genre: **Humour  
**Status: **Complete  
**Summary: **_I'll tell you a story, believe every word,  
It's quite unique, nothing like you've ever heard,  
In case you believed that, shame on you,  
This rhymes, yes, but truthfully, it's nothing new._  
**Warnings: **Er ... Poem? Silly poem. Also, smutty for a poem. Breaking of the fourth wall.

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Harry and Draco's Affair (The Smutty Poetic Version)

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I'll tell you a story, believe every word,  
It's quite unique, nothing like you've ever heard,  
In case you believed that, shame on you,  
This rhymes, yes, but truthfully, it's nothing new.

Once upon a time, there lived a man,  
He was quite blond and had many a fan,  
His life was described in a series of books,  
That had failed to mention his exceedingly good looks.

But that was not the only delusion,  
There were other things that evaded inclusion,  
The tale of his enduring marriage was pure crock,  
That marriage failed due to Harry Potter's cock.

It all happened on one fine day,  
When Draco inadvertently discovered he was gay.  
He was attending a very important gala affair,  
And many people had gathered there.

Amongst them was the Boy Who Lived Twice,  
And Draco had noticed that Potter looked very nice.  
Actually nice was not the proper word,  
Saying he was positively gorgeous would be less absurd.

Potter had matured and grown into a desirable man,  
With intelligent eyes and quite a nice tan,  
His hair was still messy and his forehead still scarred,  
But he was much taller and his muscles were hard.

The best thing was (Draco had heard this from a reliable source)  
Apparently, Potter had recently gotten a divorce.  
Ginny Weasley was not pleased, but she had to relent,  
For it was brought to her attention that her husband was bent.

(Just bear with me while I mention this,  
Ginny Weasley lived the rest of her life in bliss,  
I know you don't care, but my love for her is strong,  
Now I feel better, so we can move along.)

Where were we? Oh right, we were contemplating Potter's cock,  
No wait, first, Draco went for a walk.  
He was feeling a bit dizzy and he needed some air,  
This was hardly surprising with Potter in there.

(Now before we go on, you must know this is not an infidelity tale,  
Because then this would be angst, and that's where I fail,  
No, Draco's marriage was an arrangement — his wife condoned his affairs,  
He gave her money, and she was to give him heirs.)

So as Draco inhaled fresh air and contemplated the firmness of Potter's butt,  
The author of this poem happily planned to write some smut,  
For Draco's thoughts turned deliciously obscene,  
And you might have noticed that this poem is rated NC-17!

And lo! Harry Potter appeared, in all his handsome glory,  
And we come to the peak of this little story,  
Words were not spoken, because what was there to be said?  
I don't even have time to make them fuck on a bloody bed.

Potter pushed Draco against the wall,  
And Draco could only hope that his gasp was not heard in the hall,  
"Unhand me at once!" Draco said with an angry hiss,  
But Potter stole his breath with one toe-curling kiss.

At that point Draco forgot to complain,  
In fact, all coherent thoughts abandoned his brain.  
He sucked on Potter's tongue with a content sigh,  
Then parted his legs and effectively humped Potter's thigh.

Just as Draco made a satisfied sound,  
Potter suddenly spun him around.  
As Draco's cheek was pressed to the cold stone,  
Draco wriggled his arse with a long moan.

Potter was aroused and Draco could feel,  
That his cock was hot and as hard as steel.  
Potter unzipped Draco's trousers with care,  
And Draco whimpered when his arse was bare.

Potter proclaimed, "I'll fuck you until you scream,"  
And Draco thought that was a bit extreme.  
But when wet fingers slid inside his hole,  
Potter's hopes seemed like a reasonable goal.

Draco thrust his arse, pulling Potter's fingers deeper within,  
Wondering where the hell Potter had been,  
He should have shown this to Draco long before,  
Then maybe Draco would choose the right side in the war.

When Potter's fingers withdrew only to be replaced with his cock,  
Draco was pushed into a state of pure shock.  
This was amazing, simply astounding,  
Draco had never felt anything better than Potter's pounding!

Potter was ruthless and he grabbed Draco — hard,  
Thrusting inside him without any regard.  
And Draco held on, loving every firm stroke,  
His orgasm building when Potter spoke:

"Should've done this long ago."  
Draco whimpered and said, "I know!"  
Draco's cock was grabbed by Potter's hand,  
And Draco came hard, barely able to stand.

Potter was still thrusting and groaning aloud,  
While Draco panted with his head bowed.  
And then Potter grunted, splattering come,  
All over Draco's thighs and bum.

This was the time for a breathless pause,  
But interruption came in the form of applause.  
Both Draco and Harry jumped in fright,  
Staring dumbly at the figure that had appeared to their right.

Draco suddenly wished he had a wand (or a knife)  
For the person gazing at them was none other than his wife.  
She seemed delighted with their display,  
And this was what she had to say:

"Oh darling, that was a vision and a half,  
Potter possesses quite a lovely ... staff.  
And if you, my love, aren't dreadfully sore,  
I'd love to see this display once more!"

Potter choked with indignation,  
And Draco felt a similar sensation,  
Draco yelled, "You are one crazy, prying witch!  
Go and get someone else to scratch your itch!"

"Do not defy me, my dear,"  
You are clearly queer,  
And if you wish no one to know,  
Be prepare to give me another show,"

Potter paled and grabbed Draco's waist,  
He said, "You have very good taste,  
But that is the only positive thing I can say,  
Now kindly, get the hell out of my way."

"Now, now, Mr. Potter, you cannot say this, you see,  
Because this behaviour makes you OOC.  
And you have things to lose as well,  
So you might want to think twice before sending me to hell."

Draco had had enough. He grabbed Potter with force,  
And yelled at his wife, "I want a divorce!"  
He kissed Potter once more, turning back to his wife with glee,  
"I hope you were watching this, because it's all you'll ever see."

His wife opened her mouth, but Draco no longer wished to chat,  
So he pressed Potter to his body and Apparated them into his flat.  
Potter was smiling. "That was great," he said,  
"Now you could disrobe me and chain me to the bed."

Yes, that's what Harry said, and no one can complain,  
Because even though it might seem insane,  
My smutty poem must contain Harry all tied up,  
And if you're laughing at me right now — just shut up!

However, I'm running out of rhymes,  
I've fudged them too many times.  
So we won't hear more about chains and ropes,  
I'm sorry if I killed your hopes.

This is the end of the tale I've wished to share,  
Just one more thing that's completely true — I swear!  
You must believe me and I don't want to hear laughter,  
The truth is — Harry and Draco lived happily ever after.

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Fin

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End file.
